"Pop goes the shitweasel" or "Self Righteous Rantings on Pet Ownership"

You have now been forewarned.

Various inconveniences are listed as reasons for rehoming the family dog in the so-charmingly-titled Slate article, "Sometimes it Makes Sense to Ditch the Family Dog".

Ok, so finding a really good new home for your dog does not necessarily a douchebag make. I know this kind of thing happens all the time, and sometimes for good reasons. But this article cheeses me off for 3 reasons:

1. The callous title + flippant tone: injecting a bunch of self deprecating humour that's all *I'll say I'm so full of regret in a cheeky way and I'm already calling myself an asshole and therefore beating you to it but really, isn't this funny?

2. Doing the above in a really really widely read online magazine article. *Come on everybody, ditch your annoying and/or inconvenient pet! I did it, and it worked out great!*

3. If I'm keeping my shitweasels despite FAR worse offenses than being inconvenient, then goddammit, so are you and everyone else!!!!

And there you have it - number 3 is really the heart of the matter. We've just had the worst shitweasel week in a long time, and I have never so badly wanted to drop-kick them into next February. Our dogs need some work. Since Mason was born there has been a terrible lack of routine and practice at behaving like normal domesticated animals, so they've gone all wrong lately. We need to go Full Metal Jacket on their asses.

Maybe I will find myself in her shoes someday. But I want to promise to exhaust all avenues to resolving any behavioural problems and lifestyle adjustment requirements that may arise before I ever find myself eating these words. It makes me so sad when people don't consider their dogs a part of their family. A couple of years ago I would have been more radical and preachy about this, but I just don't have it in me to launch the ranting activist song and dance anymore. At least not these days. My focus is elsewhere. It's on my family, which includes my dogs.


What is your major malfunction, numbnuts? I'm gonna give you three seconds to wipe that stoopid looking grin off your face or you will be in a world of shit!

Do you maggots understand?!

Just messin' with ya! I love my shitweasels!