Why yes, I would love some wine with my cheese!

Oh yes I did!
Norman Rockwell, eat your heart out.

Ass Brownies

AKA Parkin (in case you wanted the recipe, Helen!)

butter, for greasing
110g/4 oz self-raising flour
salt
2 tbsp ground ginger
½ tsp ground nutmeg
½ tsp mixed spice
75g/3oz oatflakes
175g/6oz golden syrup
50g/2oz black treacle (aka MOLASSES, Putting the ASS in Ass Brownies since 1605!!!)
110g/4oz unsalted butter
110g/4oz soft brown sugar
1 free range egg, beaten
2 tsp full-fat milk

Method
Convert all measurements to American. Mix it. Bake for 1 hour. Wrap in foil and let sit for 3 days. Serve while drunk, with cool 11/5 sparklers to completely bewildered and unimpressed English friend while bastardizing "remember, remember the 5th of November" chant. Drunkenly go on and on about the Ass Brownies and how awful they taste before anyone's even tried them. Throw directly into trash.

Alternative #1: skip serving the parkin, and throw directly into trash
Alternative # 2: skip baking the parkin and buy dessert like a normal person

Happy Belated Guy Fawkes Night!!

OH MY GOD! They killed Eko!!

YOOOOOU BASTARDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now who are they gonna try to pass off as the eye candy, Jack? Pffft. Waaaa.